Guys Right Now

Okay, so... The past few days, I've been relatively confused about men in my life. I wanted to have a reason to like them. Certain ones have good looks; others have great personalities. Yet, in my constant process of realization, I failed to understand that there is one guy in particular that I had a slight (major) crush on. I'm usually good at giving advice about guys, but lately, I've been struggling with the same issues that are brought to me regularly. Am I wrong for not considering the advice that I would give to someone in my situation? Am I wrong for being excessively bizarre? Lately, I've noticed that I tend to be a little more than just a typical teenage guy; I am quite attracted to guys, and it seems that I have several of them calling many times a day. I know that I'll not date any of them because they will soon realize that I'm just a jerk. However, despite all of this, I still really like this guy.... Cameron.... like a lot. I don't want to do anything about it though -- not yet. I mean, I absolutely do, but I can't. Not yet. Ugh!!!! Now I understand what all of you my friends are going through when you ask me what you should do. I know what I need to do: tell him how I feel.

Post Script: we must also find Chanel man, even though I'd much rather be with Cameron...

This past weekend

okay, so this past weekend has been rather rough. My RA and I got into an argument, and yeah... My floor seems relatively unshaken by it, but I might not be able to tell very well. Who knows... Anyway, I noticed that my ex is "friends" with someone on my floor. The two of them apparently know each other through a friend. I began talking with this "friend" just before school, and I haven't had much time to get to know him. This puts me in an awkward position with the dorm since my ex was a complete jerk and lied about me. Anyway, enough ranting. today was good.

Again Homo Stuff

So, there are people who have similar issues. I recently learned this, yet I now realize how foolish it was for me to think that I was the only one with the issue. I digress. Anyway, I felt that it was important to open the discussion to anyone who wanted to talk. Today, I was outside my apartment, and there were a lesbian couple and a gay couple. It was quite unusual for me, but I rather enjoyed seeing other people with my issue...

My Issue

Well, I'm sure that all of you are eagerly awaiting food, but I figured that we'd have a discussion for this first week, and that would be our "meat." The first topic is Homosexuality. This is a moderately common issue, and I felt that it needed to be addressed. I understand that although many people have strong religious connections and feelings regarding this issue; thus, I will try to be sensitive to that. Let me begin by saying that I am a Christian. Alright, for me, I have tried to solve my gay feelings. It doesn't work. For many years I have worked to remove them, or blot them away -- Doesn't work. I don't understand it, and I don't claim to. What I do know, is that I have the feelings; I have the issue. I can't seem to get rid of it. Not once, did I feel as though I could be different, yet when I was told that it was wrong, I tried so hard to purge all of the feelings that I had. All I wanted to do was the right thing.

Dinnerclub!

Basically, A dinner club is a group of people who rotate the responsibility or pleasure of hosting a meal and game night. The host provides the main course or meat, and the guests each provide another dish.